Forgive And Move On With EFT Tapping
EFT Tapping For Forgiveness
In this article, you will learn how to forgive and move on from the bitterness in life using EFT Tapping. This alternate therapeutic technique has been clinically proven to help people let go of grudges and hard feelings.
Who hasn't been harmed by another's actions or words? We've all been there.
Perhaps you were repeatedly chastised by your parents as a child, a coworker sabotaged a project, or your partner had an affair.
Perhaps you've been through a horrific event, such as being emotionally assaulted by someone close to you or someone damaging your mental peace.
These wounds can leave you with lingering feelings of anger, bitterness, even vengeance. By embracing forgiveness, you can embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.
They say that you never know how strong your heart is until you learn to forgive who broke it. It's simply human nature to hold grudges and wish to harm those who have wronged you. What's the point, though?
It will only harm your mental health and prevent you from achieving your goals. One of the most difficult tasks we face as humans is letting go and moving on, but it is also one of the most liberating.
Speaking of human nature, forgiveness is a deliberate act of will, whereas forgetting is not. Forgiveness comes naturally as time passes and you begin to heal.
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong.
You can forgive the person without excusing the act. We also may think that we have to be friendly with them again, or go back to the old relationship. Needn't be so.
It's more about reviewing the situation and taking the moral, growing from it.
FORGIVENESS: LETTING GO OF GRUDGES AND BITTERNESS
Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, it includes a decision to let go of bitterness and vengeful thoughts.
Letting go of grudges and resentment might lead to better health and mental clarity. Forgiveness can lead to the following outcomes:
- Healthier relationships
- Improved mental health
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- A stronger immune system
- Improved heart health
- Improved self-esteem (1)
Although the act that hurt or offended you may remain with you forever, forgiveness can help you break free from the hold of the person who harmed you.
Forgiveness can also lead to feelings of empathy, compassion, and understanding for the person who has wronged you.
Forgiveness does not imply forgetting or excusing the hurt you have suffered, nor does it imply making amends with the person who caused it. Forgiveness provides a sense of calm that allows you to move on with your life.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
WHY IS IT SO EASY TO HOLD A GRUDGE?
Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness and confusion. Grudges of hatred, revenge, and hostility can grow if you linger on traumatic events or circumstances.
If you let your bitterness or sense of unfairness overwhelm your positive feelings, you may find yourself being eaten up by them.
Some people are naturally more forgiving than others. But even if you're a grudge holder, you can improve your forgiving skills.
LESSONS OF FORGIVENESS
1.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting
The concept of "forgive and forget" is deeply embedded in our culture, implying that in order to forgive, we must forget the wrongs done to us. This is so not true.
It is highly unlikely that you’ll ever be able to forget a serious wrong committed against you.
While we have no control over whether or not memories linger with us, we do have power over our attention.
In particular, we have power over how much we choose to think about and reflect on previous wrongs done to us.
Establish and maintain healthy mental limits. It will do wonders for your mood.
2.
Forgiveness is not a feeling
Many people have trouble forgiving because they confuse the act of forgiveness with the emotional outcome they expect.
Most people who are having difficulty forgiving want to feel better—they want peace of mind, less anger and hatred, quiet and equanimity, and perhaps even compassion or love toward their offender or the person who caused them harm.
But it doesn't work this way every time. There is no universal law that guarantees everyone will feel at ease as a result of forgiving.
In reality, coming to terms with the idea that how you feel emotionally about a significant wrong committed against you is not essentially under your control is one of the most difficult aspects of genuine forgiveness.
3.
The road to forgiveness is yours
After being wronged, one or two loud (and sometimes socially constructed) emotions, typically rage, take over our emotional landscape.
On the road to forgiveness, though, other emotions are nearly always present and worth addressing.
Develop a habit of noticing smaller, calmer feelings beyond and beneath your most evident emotions. These feelings are just as valid as, say, anger, but they may be more beneficial.
Embrace the emotional distinctiveness of your road to forgiveness.
4.
Forgiveness is not one decision
Recognize that forgiveness is a process, not a destination, no matter how many stories you hear about the "moment of forgiveness."
It takes more than one decision to forgive. Be ready to forgive day in and day out. And, while it may become easier over time, forgiving is a never-ending process.
Forgiveness is not a decision; it’s an attitude, a habit of mind.
5.
Forgiveness is a gift to yourself
We limit our potential to connect with people when we hold on to our hurts and dwell in a position of wrath and fear. We are social beings by nature, and we require relationships in order to survive and develop.
When we truly forgive, our inner selves become more tranquil, and we are better able to connect with people in meaningful ways (2).
Remember that you are not being harsh when you forgive and move on from someone who has wronged you.
You're also not attempting to criticize anyone. Instead, you are saying "no" to the harm in order to say "yes" to the health and peace you require in your life.
It's possible that you'll never have another relationship with that person. However, you will be able to heal any toxic hatred and resentment by replacing it with the healing salve of pleasure and serenity.
Others may not change, but YOU will be freed.
"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
FORGIVENESS IS A SUPERPOWER
When you learn about much more valuable things like love, forgiveness, feelings, and emotions, you begin to live a life that is a lot easier, gratifying, and meaningful.
When we blame a person or a situation, we are not genuinely willing to let go of the grief, hurt, or betrayal, and we may believe we have moved on in life, but we haven't unless it's forgiveness in its purest form.
Forgiveness entails much more than simply saying, "I'm over it, I've forgiven her/him." If you truly want to be at peace, if you truly want to let go, you must let go of all the negative feelings you have against someone or something (3).
Forgiving someone can be hard, but it gets easier if you look at it as a way of freeing yourself from the hurt and moving on.
So if forgiveness is something you could bring more of into your life, you'll benefit greatly from the EFT Tapping given below.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals, including Anxiety.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
With the help of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), people can work to clear anger, hatred or any negative feelings from the root cause, until they no longer feel triggered and are able to consistently feel calm and peaceful.
EFT is a method that offers healing from physical and emotional pain. EFT Tapping technique helps you to forgive and let go of the bitterness in your life.
EFT TAPPING TECHNIQUE for Forgiveness and Moving On
Bring to mind a person who did you wrong and keeping those feelings in mind, and tap along...
Round 1:
Karate Chop:
Even though I've been holding on to resentment against this person, even thoughts of revenge, even hurtful, because what they did was wrong and nothing can change that, I'm open to reclaiming my peace and joy by looking into the possibility of forgiveness. I don't have to condone their actions, only free myself to release the hurt and move on (3 times).
Eyebrow:
I can't accept what they did, forgiveness is out of the question.
Side Of The Eye:
Forgive them?
Under The Eye:
What they did was wrong.
Under The Nose:
They should not be able to get away with it.
Chin:
They should be punished.
Collarbone:
They should get a taste of their own medicine.
Under The Arm:
Then they'll know not to do it again!
Thumb:
Only when they are punished I will feel good.
index finger:
Unforgiveness is hurting me more.
middle finger:
Don’t they realize what they are doing?
little finger:
They do not deserve my forgiveness.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water.
Round 2:
Karate Chop:
Even though I am still carrying vengeance and all the hurt, and I would love to be able to forgive but I am finding it hard to forgive and I feel like I am being dragged into negativity, I deeply and completely love and accept myself (3 times).
Eyebrow:
I'm still carrying vengeance.
Side Of The Eye:
That continues to drag me into negativity.
Under The Eye:
Crowding out my thoughts of peace.
Under The Nose:
I feel so sad about my situation.
Chin:
I wish I could let this go.
Collarbone:
But I cannot get what they did to me out of my head.
Under The Arm:
It keeps going round and round in my head.
Thumb:
I keep analyzing the situation over and over again.
index finger:
I can hear their voices in my head of when they hurt me.
middle finger:
I can see the image of them doing that to me.
little finger:
I am holding on to Unforgiveness.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water.
Round 3:
Karate Chop:
Even though I would love to forgive them and I am not sure if I can step out of this negativity and it makes me feel really sad. I love and accept myself completely.
Eyebrow:
How can I forgive? When I have so much hatred.
Side Of The Eye:
I feel so sad about my situation.
Under The Eye:
I wonder if I can step out of this negativity and find a place of forgiveness within.
Under The Nose:
Suppose somehow I could feel more compassion and understanding for them and me.
Chin:
What if I could forgive this person?
Collarbone:
Not the behaviour of the person because what they did was no right.
Under The Arm:
What if I could forgive them?
Thumb:
Suppose somehow I could forgive myself for not forgiving them.
index finger:
What if everything is going to be okay?
middle finger:
I am open to forgiving, letting go and moving on.
little finger:
I choose to forgive myself for what happened for the role I played in that old situation.
Top Of The Head:
I am grateful that I am able to forgive them and myself.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water.
Round 4:
Karate Chop:
Even though I have found it hard to forgive, that was then and this is now, I am open to the possibility of forgiving and choosing peace.
Start Of The Eyebrow:
I am starting to feel better now.
Side Of The Eye:
I am feeling light.
Under The Eye:
As if I have created more space inside me.
Under The Nose:
As if I feel clean from the inside.
Chin:
I am feeling better now.
Collarbone:
Forgiveness is just releasing stuck energy around me.
Under The Arm:
I have moved on and it feels good.
Top Of The Head:
Moving on feels good!
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water.
There are so many reasons to forgive:
- Peace of mind
- To be able to move on
- It is better for health (there is evidence to show unforgiveness is linked to illness and cancer)
In its purest form, forgiveness is about empowering, growing, and strengthening yourself. When you forgive, you are able to go on and focus more positively on your life.
And when you forgive, you will experience the freedom that comes with it: the freedom to develop, to learn, to absorb more, to start living the life you want to live, on your terms, rather than allowing the hurt to take up space in your environment.
Forgive not in order to forget, but in order to heal, develop, expand, and help. Forgiveness is for you alone, not for others. Don't surrender this authority to someone else; you deserve tranquilly, pleasure, and growth (4).
Find peace within yourself. You no longer have to beat yourself and think that you're not good enough. Learn to embrace who you are and who you are becoming. Hopefully,w this will help you as well!
Here's to forgiveness, personal peace and love.
Love,
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
P.S. Conflicts are common with people in our lives and here are the 5 steps to resolve an argument.
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How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In summary, bitterness in life can be exhausting and distressing, but you can always overcome it by forgiving the individual or the whole situation, and moving on in life with more positivity and joyfulness or even use a clinically proven method. EFT Tapping for forgiveness will allow you to get rid of the distressing thoughts, or whatever that you are going through, and let go of all the feelings; however, you don't need to rush the process. Take your time and do what you feel is right for you, as and when you feel comfortable.
References:
- https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
- https://nickwignall.com/forgiveness/
- https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/my-magic/article/forgivenessthats-your-superpower
https://www.theteenmagazine.com/forgive-but-never-forget-how-to-forgive-someone-move-on
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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