Healing From Heartbreak

In this article, you'll be enlighten about the pain and consequences of a heartbreak, and how a broken heart can be effectively healed through Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

Heartbreak. I didn’t take a name, I didn’t share anything, just one word. But I wonder how many memories came back rushing to your mind reading that word.

Isn’t it true? It’s all just a suppressed, piled up mess; we had buried deep inside ourselves, and thought that we moved on. Well, maybe you’ve really moved on; but maybe, you haven’t.

Has your heart ever been broken?

Possibly, as a result of a breakup with your partner, or even separation or divorce from your spouse?

It’s hard to deal with heartbreaks, really hard. Sometimes, it even feels like it’s just impossible and you’ve to live with the pain the rest of your life.

That teenage crush, that high school partner, that college live-in, maybe your ex-spouse, hurtful communications between siblings or friends, an affair ending or simply just your dreams shattering to pieces.

Although it might seem nearly impossible to deal with all of this, it’s not. It all depends on how you decide to react to it.

Just be true to yourself, you know.

   HEARTBREAK REALLY HURTS  

Heartbreak is a regrettable but all-too-common element of the human experience, and it stings. We've all been there, and it's safe to say that we all wish to prevent heartbreak in the future.

When we lose someone or something we care deeply about, such as a romantic relationship or a friendship, a family member, a pet, or a career or opportunity that was very important to us, we feel heartbroken.

Heartbreak may be extremely stressful, especially if the loss is unexpected. Stress can have an emotional and physical impact on us, and it can take weeks, months, or even years to recover from.

Sometimes it is very natural for the relationship to end.

Have you ever wondered though, why there is so much pain after a breakup?

According to studies, your brain detects emotional pain in the same way it registers physical pain, which is why you may believe your sadness is causing physical pain and anguish (1). The language we use to describe heartbreak hints to how we equate physical pain with emotional suffering – "I feel like my heart's been ripped out," "it was gut wrenching," "like a slap in the face."

In fact, emotional pain can even manifest into physical pain.

   HEALTHY VS NON-HEALTHY SYMPTOMS OF HEARTBREAK  

It's normal to be sad about the end of a relationship as you begin to heal. However, this does not imply that every emotion you experience is normal. There are both healthy and bad heartbreak symptoms.

The following are some healthy heartbreak symptoms:

• anger and frustration
• crying and sadness
• fear
• insomnia
• loss of interest in activities

These signs and symptoms are inconvenient. However, if you're having a typical reaction to the heartbreak, your emotional state will gradually improve as you adjust to life without your partner. Be patient because the length of time it takes to mend differs from person to person.

While it's natural to experience sadness and agony after a heartbreak, you should see a doctor if your symptoms don't lessen or worsen after a few weeks.

The following are some unhealthy heartbreak symptoms:

• feeling gloomy, empty, or hopeless for the majority of the day
• a lack of interest in previously appreciated activity
• weight loss and appetite decrease, or appetite rise and weight gain
• excessive or insufficient sleep 
• an increase in movements such as pacing or hand wringing, or speech and movement that is much slower
• feeling worthless
• suicidal ideation is the term for thoughts about death.

   EFFECTS OF HEARTBREAK

It can feel like the end of the world when your heart is broken. No amount of pain or concentration has ever felt so intense. It's as if a huge hole has been punched into your chest, with no way of filling it.

Nothing seems to ease your sadness or soothe the need you feel, no matter how much you cry, shout, or watch Netflix until you've seen every documentary your Netflix subscription has to offer.

• Physical pain: According to recent study, heartbreak can induce mental as well as physical discomfort. This is due to the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems firing at the same time.
• Withdrawal symptoms: Individuals may undergo a change in mental state following a heartbreak, similar to drug addicts in recovery. Obsessive thinking and accompanying brain fog are possible side effects. Though it may seem self-evident, research have shown that heartbreak can lead to depression. When a heartbreak and subsequent withdrawal impacts an individual's capacity to function in daily life, seeking treatment from a therapist is recommended. 

Here are also some physiological changes that may happen to your body as a result of a heartbreak (2).

• Your brain registers real feelings of pain.
• Your body overproduces adrenaline and cortisol which can lead to swelling and even a heart that beats faster than normal.
• Your skin is more prone to breakouts.
• Your hair falls out. In fact, I remember this incident that happened to my best friend. She and her boyfriend broke up after 2 long years of a serious relationship. The result - she slipped into a serious depression and even lost all her hair in the bargain.
• Your heart temporarily enlarges leading to severe or short term heart muscle failure.

   BROKEN HEART SYNDROME

When we think of a wounded heart, we typically don't associate it with physical problems, but rather with psychological issues. However, the mental pain of heartbreak can lead to a serious condition called Broken Heart Syndrome. The name of this syndrome says it all.

Broken Heart Syndrome is a significant medical disorder that damages the patient's physical health, particularly his or her heart. Patients with this syndrome frequently have chest pain and breathing problems as a result of shock and stress. It's like to having a heart attack. However, it is distinguished by the absence of a blocked artery in the heart, as opposed to the presence of one in a heart attack. Broken Heart Syndrome, on the other hand, feels just like a heart attack to the average person.

So, what's the source of this syndrome? It's all about the pain and anguish. Extreme emotional stress and hurt, such as the loss of a loved one or a breakup, can trigger Broken Heart Syndrome.

A sudden, acute chest discomfort can be induced by an emotionally stressful incident, and women are more prone than men to experience it. Divorce, breakup, or physical separation, treachery, or romantic rejection, or anything else that causes heartbreak are some of the other factors.

So, what can we do to avoid this? Although there is no cure for Broken Heart Syndrome, mastering stress management, problem-solving, and relaxation strategies can assist both psychological and physical health. It's critical to avoid bad heartbreak-management habits like drinking, illegal drug usage, or smoking, as well as overeating (3).

   THE SIX STAGES WE GO THROUGH DURING A HEARTBREAK

• Stage 1: Denial

When things happen too quickly, it's difficult to realise they're actually happening. We don't do well with unexpected rejections, so we prefer to imagine that the unpleasant things never happened. We try to deceive ourselves to make ourselves feel better.

• Stage 2: Anger

When lying to ourselves no longer works, we get enraged by what has occurred. Why did it have to happen to me? Why does s/he have to abandon me like this? Why is life so unjust? Others are to fault. The world is to blame. We despise the notion that we are the ones who have lost something.

• Stage 3: Blaming yourself

After that, we start blaming ourselves. Is there something I did wrong that caused this to happen to me? I really should have done a better job. I could have done a lot more. It's entirely my fault. Rather than blaming others, we begin to despise ourselves for being who we are and for having botched things up.

• Stage 4: Bargaining

We are still unable to accept what has occurred up to this point. We're willing to go to any length to change the outcome. We desire to go back in time and change the events of our lives. We'd want to see a more satisfying conclusion. We'll do everything it takes to get the relationship or friendship back if there's anything we can do.

• Stage 5: Depressed

After experiencing so many bad emotions, we've reached a point when we feel helpless and exhausted. We don't want to take any action. We just want to go somewhere quiet and mourn and rest. We are too depressed to act. Our hearts are breaking with grief. Our hearts continue to ache.

• Stage 6: Acceptance

After all of the emotional ups and downs, as well as the difficult times, we've now begun to accept the fact. We've started to maintain our composure. We gradually notice that we aren't crying as much as we used to. We're still sad, but we don't think about it as much as we used to (4).

Reaching stage 6 of heartbreak is a significant milestone since you've fully accepted your emotions and accepted yourself as a vulnerable individual. However, this is only the beginning of getting your life back on track.

You're ready to work on true healing now that you've gone through the six stages of heartbreak.

While it may seem serious, healing a heartbreak can just be like healing a burn or a wound.

If taken care of, nourished and treated with the right tools, the road to healing and transformation can be a smooth one.

When it comes down to it, the only thing that can truly heal a broken heart is... time. There's no ignoring the pain until you've gained some distance from your loss.

To aid your heart's recovery, keep fundamental thoughts in mind: honesty about your experience and emotions, compassion for yourself, social support, and self-care. After a while, you'll begin to feel more like yourself.

In conclusion, there may be a million reasons for heartbreak, it is important to remember that healing is possible. This healing can also pave the way for more nourishing relationships and even a much happier life.

Love,

Donita & Team Vitality

P.S. Want to discover if EFT Tapping is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call. 

 References:

1. Why do relationship break ups hurt so much? – The Guardian, Published February 2016. Extract from Idiot Brain by Author and Neuroscientist Dean Burnett.
2. 7 surprising ways your body reacts to a breakup – Elle,  by Natalie Matthews, December 10^th 2014
3. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617 
4. https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief#7-stages 

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.

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