How I Eliminated Fear Of Working On My Grief With EFT Tapping?
Eliminate the Fear Of Working On Grief With EFT Tapping
In this article, you will learn about what grief is, why we fear to work on our grief, and how to eliminate the fear of working on grief with EFT Tapping Therapy which has proven to be an effective alternative therapy.
There are very few things that test our resilience more than the death of a loved one.
Grief can feel isolating and exhausting, and it can seem unbearable. It is sad. It is lonely. It is heartbreaking. It is life-changing. It is painful. It is tragic. It is depressing... it is just so damn bad.
You have the impression that your life will never be the same again. Grief can come into your life for many reasons.
For me, it crept in when my mother passed away.
I can tell you that, for me, it was like a sword piercing my heart, making it hard for me to even breathe fully. I felt like a part of my soul left with my mother.
There is a void that can never be filled since there is no love like a mother's love in the world. I felt empty and lost. It creates a huge wound in your heart that will never, ever be filled.
Before I knew it, I was plunging with great speed into the dark pit of depression.
I felt that I would never come out of this deep spiral that I had plunged into.
That this was the end for me, and the hard part was that I could not even express myself to others, let alone being able to accept the fact that my mother was gone.
Many can have an intense period of grief depending on how close they were to the person they lost, or how their coping mechanism works.
As a coach, I was aware of how I need to get myself out of this grief, and I tried.
Every time I worked on my grief, I passed out. Such was the intensity of what I was feeling.
Friends and family would advise me, and the famous one of all was ‘Time will heal you’, which just sounded like hollow words to me.
I knew that they just wanted to help, but I did not want to even approach my grief yet. ‘I WAS SCARED.' The intensity of my grief just blocked out everyone and I was okay like that.
I felt it was easier to stay with that grief than face it head-on, and let go of the fear.
The fear came up as a result of my experience of intense grief.
After all, I had never gone through this level of grief before. For many people who seem blocked to counselling and healing, this could be a reason.
I decided to work on my grief and take it one step at a time.
The first thing I had to do was approach my fear of dealing with grief. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) helped me eliminate this fear with as little trauma as possible.
“I have learned that with grief, you have to take it one day at a time, and learn how to find the happiness amid the heartbreak.”
- ADRIENNE C. MOORE
WHAT IS GRIEF?
Grief is a natural reaction to loss. It's the emotional pain you experience when something or someone you care about is taken away from you.
Loss can be excruciatingly painful at times. From shock or fury to disbelief, remorse, and deep sadness, you may experience a wide range of uncomfortable and unexpected emotions.
People may feel numb and detached from daily life, unable to carry on with their regular responsibilities while dealing with their grief.
Grief is a universal as well as a unique experience. Individual grieving experiences differ, and the nature of the loss has an impact.
Grief can have a negative impact on your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think clearly. These are common reactions to loss, and the greater the loss, the more severe your grieving.
Experts encourage mourning people to accept that they can't control the process and to anticipate various stages of grief.
Understanding why they're hurting can be beneficial, as can talking to others and attempting to settle situations that cause substantial emotional anguish, such as guilt over the death of a loved one.
Mourning can be months or years long. In most cases, anguish fades with time as the bereaved adjusts to life without a loved one, to the news of a terminal illness, or the awareness that someone they care about may pass away.
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including:
- Divorce or relationship breakup
- Loss of health
- Losing a job
- A miscarriage
- Retirement
- Death of a pet
- Loss of a friendship
- Loss of comfort after a trauma
- The family house being sold (1)
Grief can be triggered by even little losses in life.
Whatever loss you've suffered, it's personal to you, so don't be ashamed of how you're feeling or assume that you should only grieve for particular things.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
THE GRIEVING PROCESS
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, coined the phrase "five phases of grieving" in 1969.
After the death of a loved one, people go through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and eventually acceptance.
1.
Denial:
The first step of this theory, permits us to cope with the enormous agony of loss. We are attempting to cope with emotional grief while processing the reality of our loss. It's difficult to realise we've lost someone significant in our lives, especially if we just spoke with them the week before or even the day before.
In this moment of loss, our reality has entirely changed. It may take a while for our minds to adapt to this new reality. We're reminiscing about the times we spent with the person we've lost, and we could be wondering how to move on with our lives without them.
There's a lot of material to dig through here, as well as a lot of distressing visuals to process. Rather than getting overwhelmed by our feelings, denial aims to slow down the process and guide us through it one step at a time.
2.
anger:
This is a common reaction to the death of a loved one. We're attempting to adjust to a new reality, and we're probably in a lot of pain emotionally. Because there is so much to comprehend, rage may appear to provide an emotional outlet.
Keep in mind that being angry does not necessitate being extremely vulnerable. It is, nevertheless, more socially acceptable than admitting we are afraid. Anger permits us to express our feelings without fear of being judged or rejected.
Unfortunately, when we begin to release emotions associated with loss, anger is often the first emotion we experience. This might make you feel alienated in your experience and unapproachable by others at a time when we need comfort, connection, and reassurance the most.
3.
bargaining:
When you're dealing with a loss, it's common to feel so desperate that you'll do virtually anything to relieve or reduce the agony. When we lose a loved one, we may contemplate any way we may prevent the sorrow we are experiencing or the pain we expect to experience as a result of the loss.
When we begin bargaining, we are frequently addressing our requests to a higher power, or to someone larger than ourselves, who may be able to influence a different conclusion. When we understand there is nothing we can do to affect change or a better final result, we become acutely conscious of our humanity.
4.
depression:
During the process of grieving, there comes a point when our imaginations quiet down and we begin to see the truth of our current circumstance. We are faced with what is happening since bargaining is no longer an option.
We begin to feel more intensely the loss of a loved one. As our panic fades, the emotional fog lifts, and the loss becomes more tangible and unavoidable.
As the sadness develops, we tend to withdraw inside ourselves. We may feel ourselves withdrawing, becoming less sociable, and reaching out to others less about our problems.
5.
acceptance:
It is not that we no longer feel the pain of loss when we reach a point of acceptance. But we are no longer opposing the truth of our circumstance, and we are no longer attempting to change it. (2)
WHY DO PEOPLE FEAR TO WORK ON THEIR GRIEF?
Who would want to deal with their grief when all it makes you feel is alone and sad?
People fear to work on grief because, in a sense, it becomes our reality. We have simply constructed our reality if we feel and believe it.
We've gotten ourselves into it and aren't sure what to do with it. It's the realisation of our worst fears.
We get afraid that we might relive the whole situation to deal with it, to relive the feeling of loneliness and abandonment.
This is why most people avoid dealing with their grief fearing that they might get to experience unpleasant feelings.
The first step to eliminate that fear is to accept that you are going through something and you need help. Once you realise you require professional help, go for it. After all, overcoming grief is only going to improve your lifestyle and will help you maximise your mental health.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can help get to the root cause of an issue and eliminate the symptoms of depression with ease. EFT is so powerful that it can also eliminate the symptoms of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).
What’s more, the effect of EFT treatments is quick and long-lasting.
For those new to EFT, also known as Tapping Therapy, it combines tapping on acupressure points while saying statements out loud to accept situations.
For more details, you can download a free booklet on EFT below and start tapping right away.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals, including Anxiety.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
EFT TAPPING TO ELIMINATE FEAR OF WORKING ON GRIEF
EFT Tapping for Depression is an alternative therapeutic method which has proven to be long lasting and effective.
A little side note before we begin:
Grief is a very delicate emotion and if you are inexperienced, directly working on grief might even send you into abreaction.
It's best to start at the emotions surrounding the grief and then slowly approach the grief with caution.
EFT Tapping Script I Used to Let Go of my Fear of Working on My Grief
Round 1:
Karate Chop:
Even though I’m so scared and overwhelmed, I love and accept myself. (3 times).
Eyebrow:
I am so scared.
side of the eye:
I am so overwhelmed.
Under The Eye:
My heart aches...
Under The Nose:
I'm so afraid.
chin:
I don’t know what to do.
collarbone:
I need help.
Under The Arm:
I don’t know how to deal with this fear.
thumb:
I’m scared I will pass out again.
Index Finger:
Will I ever be able to get over this fear?
middle Finger:
This fear of approaching my grief.
Little Finger:
Even the thought of it.
Closing Sequence (Karate Chop):
Even though I am scared and overwhelmed, and I do not know how to get rid of this fear, I am open to the possibility of love. I love and accept myself.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
Round 2:
Karate Chop:
Even though I am so scared, that even the thought of working on myself is so scary. I love a accept myself (3 times).
Eyebrow:
I am so scared.
side of the eye:
I am so overwhelmed.
Under The Eye:
I wish this fear goes away.
Under The Nose:
I am scared I will pass out again.
chin:
And I will not be able to get rid of this grief forever.
collarbone:
This is so scary.
Under The Arm:
I do not know if this is normal.
thumb:
I don’t want to go into depression.
Index Finger:
I have responsibilities.
middle Finger:
It is getting hard to breathe now.
Little Finger:
I am so uncomfortable.
top of the head:
I choose to breathe now and let my chest relax (breathe in and out while tapping).
Closing Sequence (Karate Chop):
Even though I am so scared right now to even approach my grief. Suppose somehow I could find the courage and be relieved.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
Round 3:
Karate Chop:
Even though I am open to working on myself, I am still scared of approaching my grief, I love and accept myself.
Eyebrow:
I want to be fearless.
side of the eye:
I know I can get help outside too.
Under The Eye:
I know I can help myself.
Under The Nose:
This fear is just superficial.
collarbone:
What if I could breathe easily?
Under The Arm:
What if I could be fearless?
thumb:
I can trust my friends and family.
Index Finger:
I can trust myself.
middle Finger:
I can get an opinion.
Little Finger:
There is support.
top of the head:
Suppose somehow, I find the courage to face my fear of approaching my grief. I am grateful for all the help I receive.
Closing Sequence (Karate Chop):
Even though I am fearful. I am open to the possibility of taking help and support. I love and accept myself completely.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
Round 4:
Karate Chop:
Even though I really love my mom and separation from her is so painful, I am scared to work on myself, I whole-heartedly love and accept myself.
Eyebrow:
I am allowing myself to love myself.
side of the eye:
I am allowing myself to be fearless.
Under The Eye:
I am allowing myself to approach this grief.
Under The Nose:
With as little trauma as possible.
chin:
Maybe take advice from others.
collarbone:
Maybe trust the process a little.
Under The Arm:
I love myself more.
thumb:
I am sorry for all the ways I have blocked my healing.
Index Finger:
I am grateful for all the advice and support I receive.
middle Finger:
I am grateful to my mentor for teaching me EFT.
Little Finger:
With as little trauma as possible.
top of the head:
I love myself for being fearless.
Closing Sequence (Karate Chop):
Even though I was scared of working on my grief, that was then and this is now, I am grateful for having the support I need. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
I am still a work in progress and I’m sure I will transform my grief into something beautiful someday.
I have hope that this grief will give me the motivation I need to be able to be kind and understanding towards myself and others in a similar situation.
Keep Tapping!
Love,
Donita
Here is another tapping sequence to let go, forgive and move on.
P.S. Want to discover if EFT Tapping is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In summary, it's wise to note that everyone deals with loss in their unique way. While you may go through all five stages of grief, you may find it impossible to classify your feelings into any of them. When dealing with loss, be patient with yourself and your emotions. With EFT, you can eliminate the fear of working on grief for a better future.
References:
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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