What Do You Do When Your Client Is Not Committed?
Working with clients of different commitment levels
"Commitment is the foundation of great accomplishments"
Heidi Reeder
Have you ever wanted to do something, but you were not fully committed? Maybe there was fear, doubt, or lack of confidence. What you were seeking was certainty. Just like some limiting beliefs that stop us from working for our goals.
For example,
- What if I fail? That is too scary!
- What if I don't succeed? Maybe it's better to not begin.
There are natural limits that prevent us from achieving what we want. But, I noticed when someone is 100% committed, they go out of their way to make it happen.
So what should you do when your client is not 100% committed?
Here are the steps to consider rapport:
Understand your client:
Notice what you love about the client in terms of energy level and step into that vibration.
Appreciate them:
Let them know what you love or appreciate about what was filled in - be factual as it is more convincing. For example, I loved how you are clear about your 3 priorities. Keep it short.
Learn their perspective:
If the commitment is less than 10, start by having an open conversation without making the person feel uncomfortable. For example, I noticed in this question you put X/10 for the commitment level. Can you tell me more about that? If needed, you can ask, what do you comprehend by the question?
Get to the root:
Understand the reason behind the number. Sometimes it's just a lack of understanding of the question. This can be cleared up quickly. At times, there can be an underlying fear or doubt.
Work through the underlying emotions:
If there is an underlying fear or doubt, first check how important it is. Start with their perspective.
"I noticed you want to explore XXXX in these sessions. How do you feel about that? Is it something you want?"
Let them convince you. Many times they are not fully committed to the goal as they feel it's too hard or unattainable. So you can explore if the topic of the session needs to change for the commitment levels to be 10/10.
For example, "If you were to revise the outcome for our session to make the commitment levels 10/10. What do you expect from it?"
If needed, you can explain how things seem hard in the beginning, but if the person focuses their energy on the positive belief that "they can do it".
They are more likely to achieve their goals rather than a person having self-doubt.
encourage them:
Explain what the question means. When people who are committed to what they want, the whole universe conspires to make it happen. You can even share your experience.
When you commit to something, you are more likely to achieve it.
At times I refer to this quote to inspire the heart and the mind of my clients:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitation, the chance to draw back, ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor. All manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has power, and magic in it!”
reason with them:
Now, you can also ask,
“What needs to happen for the commitment to be 10/10?” or “What is the reason for the gap?”
the final call:
If you feel your client is not committed, you can share that when taking on a new client, you seek a commitment of 10/10. You can ask them how they feel about that.
Generally, the client revises their commitment or the outcome they are seeking. If they are still not fully committed, you have to make a call to proceed or not.
There have been times when I have not continued with the client or referred them to therapy. With EFT Tapping, I am seeking clients who are committed and want to realize the change as I know they will.
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Question: Just a query. What if a person puts 10 as a commitment but in actual doesn't show that level of commitment. Whereas someone who is putting it as an 8 is being honest and might as well be fully committed. If the needed commitment isn't shown are the sessions discontinued?
So, someone who put an 8 is not a 10/10 commitment. 8/10 is also allowed. As long as the Practitioner is clear on the reason and feels that they will be able to support them and fulfill their expectations.
In terms of someone who put 10/10, but is not being honest, what do you do?
So, as you complete your initial consultation call, it will become clearer as you ask questions to clarify things.
If you feel intuitively guided that something is not right you can always ask the question to confirm. For example, “What makes you feel you are 10/10 committed?
How do you know you are willing to do what it takes? If there were an action you could take now that gets you closer to your goal, would you take it now?
I find inconsistencies get revealed on their own and are areas for exploration and growth. Bear in mind people are doing the best they can with the resources available.
At times, people are scared of failing and hence put less than 10. Then, it's better to first focus on the fear of failing than the primary outcome, as it will interfere with the main outcome.
It does not mean every client needs to be taken. Our job is not to rescue or save anyone but rather to support them in the transformation they are seeking to make.
The transformation is their own. If I feel a client is not committed as the session begins then I will have that conversation too. To understand the underlying motivations as they will interfere with what they want.
My aim is to serve the client and do what is needed to do that. At times that is walking away or continuing. A client who is ready to be helped is more open to being helped.
"Most people fail not because of lack of desire, but because of lack of commitment"
vince lombardi
American Football Coach
An experience shared by one of our practitioners:
One of my clients told me that she wrote the commitment level 8 because she felt if she wrote 10, she would have to work very hard, all day every day. Very interesting idea! So the question above is very important - especially while asking for more information about the commitment level expressed.
So we just talked about it, and she initially said it was because of her fear that there would be homework for her to do, and she felt she already had so much on her plate, etc.
While talking, she told me it was very important for her to get healed and resolved, and then she came to the realization that she was committed 10/10, but just had not understood what 10/10 meant.
She had earlier thought if she said 10/10, and she did not get “healed”, it would mean that she failed (I would have never guessed this reason!)
So I guess it’s about being open to the client and just chatting about it with no judgment or expectation? Rangana put it much more clearly, of course!
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In summary, everything is in rapport. At first, start gently to gain understanding. Then if needed, ask directly about their commitment levels, explain the value and importance of commitment. If the commitment is still less than 10, consider revising the outcome for the commitment levels to be 10/10. Finally, you can decide to proceed or not.
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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