What Is Surrogate Tapping? How Does It Work?
Surrogate Tapping With Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
Surrogate EFT Tapping is a fascinating aspect of EFT that leads us to depths of healing that go far beyond EFT, medicine, and everything else this world has to offer. You'll understand how Surrogate EFT Tapping works, the regions where you may watch it in action, and the fundamental notions behind it, as well as what a spiritual concept it is.
Imagine teaching deeply emotional processes amidst rumbling and honking in an underground seminar hall somewhere in Northwest London.
Yes, it was as hellish as it sounds! The delegates and I felt extremely vulnerable and out of sorts amidst the city noises.
One of the delegates and friend, Linda, offered that we organise sessions at her place instead. All of us gathered at her home and began our training.
In the middle of our training, we were distracted by the helpless yelping of Linda's pet dog, Charlie. A little balked by that tiny creature's noises, I proposed that we put our teachings to practical use with him and see if the process really works.
Linda brought Charlie out and held him in her arms. I started Surrogate EFT Tapping on Charlie as Linda described his concerns and problems.
As we tapped along, Linda shared that Charlie has uncovered his memories of abandonment and that is why he was so perturbed when locked in.
It was startling and heart-warming to see Charlie calming down as his owner tapped for him surrogately.
WHAT is SURROGATE EFT TAPPING?
Surrogate EFT Tapping, also known as Proxy Tapping, is one of the methods of EFT Tapping where you tap on behalf of another person.
Surrogate Tapping is using your own body as a surrogate for the other person and tapping on their behalf. Usually that person is not physically present.
Either you, as a therapist, tap on yourself for someone who has requested it, or you facilitate the process while a person taps on themselves, for someone else.
In some cases – as with a baby or small child, an animal, a person in a coma, or one’s own ‘inner child,’ – the tapping is on behalf of someone who is actually present but unable to tap for themselves.
This can be done for a family member, friend, pet or an acquaintance. Surrogate work is not imagination. It is about connecting with a person's true experience.
You put yourself in the shoes of another person, visualising yourself in the same situation as them, then tapping on yourself on their behalf.
Essentially, surrogate work is invisible work done from the space of unconditional love and trust.
The most fundamental and crucial aspect of Surrogate EFT Tapping is the intention. The intention must be to do the highest and the best for someone.
For example, you wouldn't use Surrogate EFT Tapping to resolve your issues. If someone doesn't listen to you, you wouldn't tap surrogately on them just so they start listening to you.
Surrogate tapping is NOT about trying to fix things for others. Instead, it is about connecting with them and offering support with respect for their own process. To do this, we must first acknowledge our own feelings.
HOW DOES Surrogate eft tapping WORK?
Have you ever experienced it, that you thought of someone close to you and they called you or texted you?
Well, the truth is- we are all connected in this space called the universe.
- This connectedness forms the basis of Surrogate EFT Tapping. It is almost like telepathy where you communicate with someone through your thoughts and even getting responses in mysterious ways.
- We can sense thoughts, feelings and emotions of people who we have deep connections with, like parents, spouses or close friends and vice versa because we share similar wavelengths and energy levels or fields.
- As our intention is to do the highest and the best while doing surrogate work, the message goes across as the process flows.
There are three methods of providing Surrogate EFT Tapping:
- talking about the person
- talking to the person
- and speaking as if you are the person
It is not necessary to go through all three modes, but many people find it useful to do so. As you begin to connect intuitively, words will often come to you and flow easily.
New to EFT? Learn how Surrogate EFT Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
WHO IS surrogate EFT tapping FOR?
Unlike EFT Tapping, Surrogate EFT Tapping can only be used for certain groups. These include:
- Babies: (In the womb / incubator)
- Toddlers
- Small children
- People with dementia
- People in coma
- Physically weak
- Handicapped
- Difficulty communicating
- Too ill to tap on or for themselves
- Animals and pets (1)
- Plants
In this video about EFT Tapping for Children, various ways to tap with or on kids of all ages are described.
Overall, kids are grouped according to age, such as 0-5 years, 5-8 years and 8-12/13 years.
0-5 years:
These children are too young to communicate easily using words. They communicate mainly through body language.
EFT Tapping Technique with adults makes extensive use of words to ask about and express feelings. With these children, there are 2 possible ways.
- The parents breathe like the child, really feel what the child is feeling and tap on themselves.
- The behaviour of the child is observed. Parents describe what the child is feeling and consequently tap on themselves. Using reassuring statements helps make the children feel loved and gives them a feeling of security.
5-8 years:
Children of this age group tend to be very close to their toys. They do not see a difference between the toy and themselves. So, they are encouraged to tap on the toy (teddy bears or dolls) along the emotions they themselves are feeling. The children can follow the EFT Tapping steps and tap on the toys on behalf of themselves.
8-13 years:
These kids have reached the teen/ young adult age and can be worked with as adults. They are not attached to toys and refuse to open up easily. It is more beneficial to understand the root cause by actually going down to their level and showing empathy.
Surrogate Tapping really plays an important role in these cases where children either cannot or refuse to communicate their emotions and work to resolve their issues.
Note: It is recommended to refrain from facilitating Surrogate EFT Tapping if a person is able to do tap on themselves, because doing it yourself is more powerful and efficient.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
Top tips for surrogate EFT tapping
1.
Get yourself out of the way
Keeping your input or perspective out of the process.
2.
No “fixing”
Not trying to fix anything and doing the process without any attachment to the outcome.
3.
Let the words flow
Going with the flow of the process and incorporating words as they come.
4.
Tune into the emotion and experience
Attenuating to the recipient's energy and tuning into their true experiences and situations.
5.
No leading or overly positive
Refraining from using overly positive phrases or terminology and pacing it to exactly where the client is.
do you need permission before you perform surrogate EFT tapping?
Have you ever had a negative thought for someone and called them to ask for permission?
Of course not. You wouldn't ring them to let them know that you think they are too petty sometimes.
If you don't need their permission to think ill of them, then you shouldn't need permission to think or do something that will positively affect them either.
- First, since the intention is to do only what is the highest and the best for them, the permission becomes unnecessary.
- Second, the process is performed from the space of love, trust and surrender and not with an aim to fix something or with an attachment to any outcome.
Note: If you still think you need their permission, go for it. There is no compulsion here.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
Credible reports of such "distance healing" (called surrogate healing when, for instance, a child's mother is provided an energy treatment with the intention of healing her child—who is not present in the treatment setting), while totally outside the box of conventional understanding, are too numerous among energy psychology practitioners to ignore (2).
The Promise Of Energy Psychology
WHAT ARE THE VARIOUS AREAS WHERE YOU CAN USE SURROGATE EFT TAPPING?
1.
For someone in the hospital
People who are in the hospital, suffering from chronic illnesses, in coma or are quadriplegic may benefit greatly. Worked with a woman whose mother was in the hospital. Tapped on the symptoms and the mother reported feeling better
2.
For low confidence
Worked with a client who came in for confidence related issues.
Surrogate EFT Tapping seemed to work for them.
3.
To heal babies or toddlers
Worked with a baby who had some growth issues. The mother held the baby during the process, describing the baby's problems and situation.
Tapped on the mother as well. The baby was calmer by the end.
4.
To achieve academic success
Reported a mother whose son was being expelled out of the school. The mother tapped surrogately on herself in informal setting. The son was kept in school and went on to achieve great academic success and confidence.
5.
To get hands on a business
Reported a woman who would surrogately tap on herself on behalf of the clients so that they would overcome their doubts and worries, and hand down the business to her husband.
6.
For a family member
From personal experience, I've been the recipient of surrogate EFT Tapping more than once when my mother tapped on herself on my behalf.
In surrogate tapping, the practitioner taps on him- or herself and applies other elements of energy psychology protocols as if he or she were the person whose problem is being addressed, all the while holding the intention of helping that person.
David Feinstein
FOR HOW LONG CAN THE SURROGATE EFT TAPPING WORK GO ON?
Surrogate EFT Tapping goes on for as long as normal EFT Tapping.
- For adults: Around 1 hour
- Teenagers: 40-45 minutes
- Babies/Toddlers: 10-15 minute
ADDITIONAL SURROGATE TAPPING CONSIDERATIONS
Surrogate Tapping allows a profound opportunity to step into another’s shoes, and you may be surprised by what you feel moved or inspired to say at each step during the process. As you work intuitively, you may feel moved as you tune-in to the other person’s emotions, feel much empathy, and receive new understandings of what they may be experiencing.
As a reminder, Surrogate Tapping is not about imposing our desires on another. Instead, it is an offering of love, attention, and intention for another’s highest good – on their own terms.
It is sometimes helpful to remember that while Surrogate Tapping, we are always working within our own vibration, even when tapping on behalf of someone else. This is why we address our own feelings about the person, animal or situation – first.
DOES SURROGATE EFT TAPPING REALLY WORK?
Surrogate EFT Tapping for Teenagers:
When a teen shuts down and refuses to communicate openly, it can be frustrating for the parents. Resorting to EFT Tapping induces peace and calmness. Tapping for the child, or getting the child to tap along with you effectively causes the child to open up to parents (4).
Surrogate EFT Tapping for Learning Disabilities:
Surrogate EFT Tapping is useful in finding out the root cause behind a Learning Disability. Parents tapping on the emotions the child might be feeling, approaching the situation with empathy can result in making the child feel better, resolving the issues, and overall improvement in learning (5).
Surrogate EFT Tapping for Animals:
When you focus your attention on an animal, you connect your energy system with theirs. When you keep the focus of your attention on a specific aspect of that energy system (a problem, disease, behaviour, state of mind and so on) and you change your system by tapping on the points, you are also changing theirs through the connection. Try it on your animals and on wild animals, because when they respond with visible changes in their behaviour to what you are doing with your energy system, you really know that you have done some magic!
Surrogate work is not imagination. It is connecting with their true experience.
It is possible that there is mirroring there. Chances are, what is going on for them is going on for you. First, tap on that, and then, come in as an empty vessel.
One should have the intention of doing the highest and best for the client and not fixing.
Surrogate work is invisible work done from space of unconditional love.
Clinically proven therapies can help you help others. If you are confused about where to start, it's best to seek help from professional therapists to figure out what works best for you and the people you love.
Surrogate EFT Tapping allows you to use your imagination and see where it takes you. It can be an intriguing experience.
Happy Tapping!
Love,
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
P.S. Want to discover if EFT Tapping is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.
SEEK HELP FROM AN EFT PRACTITIONER?
Discover how EFT can help you to self heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In summary, Surrogate EFT Tapping is an immensely useful technique that can benefit a wide range of situations. Keeping the intention pure and of the highest good, one can help those who are unable to engage in the normal Tapping process. The two methods of Surrogate EFT Tapping - stepping into the other person's body, and describing and tapping along, can be performed as the situation demands without any need for fixing or attachment to results.
References
- https://eftinternational.org/category/eft-training-resources/surrogate-tapping/
- The Promise Of Energy Psychology - David Feinstein, Donna Eden, Gary Craig - http://innersource.net/ep/images/stories/downloads/Surrogate_Tapping_Paper.pdf
- https://vitalitylivingcollege.info/how-i-tapped-surrogately-for-my-teenage-son/
- https://youtu.be/pZsoKoB9kP8
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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